a whole bar of chocolate kinder bueno is nothing,
nothing compared to seeing you happy,
to see that you feel loved and cared for.
so please,
just smile more during those rare brief occasions when we meet.

and seb got me all thinking,
of all the What-ifs in my life.
i hate doing this, because it tends to eat me up inside,
of all the treasures id find a lil' further down that other road in the fork that i din take.
asking me, what if i had quit choir and ran for council
pondering, what if i had gone for humans prog
questioning, why i had chosen art over lit
and the open endedness runs on and on.

and it took me much effort just snapping out of it
shout, to the world, society, that i do not look back, at all those alternate paths,
ever since ive started out this year, afresh.
i would not have exchanged the SYF prep, the bittersweet victory
the memorable trip to m'sia
all the late nights, dinner, and aching
i would not have changed, the joy of studying chem, for dry books on the past
and art would have stretched me,
more than lit would have, for the physical discipline as well
its easy, to churn it all in your head, and let the ink run in black on white
its a different type of perception.
ive flipped my coin, decided, and will stick with it.

here's to one week ( nearly) of youth camp and decaying of my books.
have fun shaoning, have fun failing blocks =)